FLYING SOLO AT A WEDDING

 

There’s nothing like an invitation to a wedding when you’re unattached to turn the happiest singleton from George Clooney into David Brent. We’ve all strutted into a wedding full of hopes and dreams of leaving with a beautiful bridesmaid and ended up weeping into a jaeger bomb whilst everyone else is slow dancing.

When I first started attending weddings in my mid twenties the singles out numbered the couples considerably.Ten years on and quite a lot has changed. Being a single person at a wedding over the age of thirty can be quite depressing and can lead you being faced with the following three scenarios:

1: The Forced Set Up

You are both friends of the bride. You’ve met once at a party and had a laugh and added each other on Facebook at some point. Now you have been purposely sat next to each other at a table that is in clear vision of everyone else at the wedding. The bride thinks you’ll be married by next year, the brides auntie has started knitting a bonnet for your first born and Uncle Jim has got a tenner on you snogging before the speeches are finished. A bit awkward yeah?

2: The Embarrassing Mix Up

You chatted to a lovely lady at the church and now you’re sharing a sly fag outside whilst the DJ is hammering through Steps’s greatest hits. She’s laughing at all your jokes, she’s playing with her hair when she’s talking to you and she’s here all on her own. Then as you are nervously building up to asking her to go for a dance her phone starts chirruping in her pocket. Turns out it’s her fiancee who’s in Africa doing something really interesting and selfless. “You’d get on really well with him” she says.  The worst thing is you probably would.

3: Convincing Yourself You Want To Be Married

Getting married is SO much more than being all smiles on a sunny afternoon in May whilst your mates and friends drink away your minimal savings. It’s about compromising on things that you would never have considered before, it’s supporting someone else through all the highs and lows that life is capable of throwing at you and it’s going to your in laws house for Christmas at least every other year for the rest of your existence. Despite all that, when you’re watching the speeches through tear stained eyes the only thing you are thinking about is how you will be watching 80’s films in bed by yourself every Saturday night forever.

The truth is though, if you’ve got a load of mates, all your limbs and a job that pays you enough to have the odd weekend away then you are already luckier than most of the people in the world. Get that suit dry cleaned, brush your teeth and put your dancing shoes on. Oh yeah, maybe ask that beautiful stranger in the church if her boyfriend is coming to the evening doo. Best laid plans and all that.